No one likes to be the bad guy. Many modern parenting experts teach permissive parenting as the proper and preferred method while declaring discipline as abusive.
According to these charlatans, children should be allowed to discover themselves and adults should not interfere. This of course is antithetical to the teachings of scripture and leads to the societal breakdown and failure of leadership we are seeing in our society.
The bible teaches that such permissive parenting that is devoid of discipline is actually hatred of our children and leads to the loss of the child to the fires of hell.
Strong words, I know, but that is the point. If we don’t love our children, we don’t care where they end up for all eternity. Consider this verse from Proverbs.
Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol. (Proverbs 23:13-14)
Some Christians get upset by this verse and begin to argue about corporal punishment and so on, but understand it is the discipline that matters most. A rod is just a tool.
Deuteronomy 21:18-21 gives parents the right to take their rebellious adult children to the elders of the city and have them put to death, but according to tradition no child was ever executed for disobeying their parents, this was a rod to rescue the soul.
King David believed that withholding discipline from his children showed his love when it really allowed their lives to end in tragedy.
“He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently” (Proverbs 13:24)
The lack of discipline in the lives of David’s children allowed them to become self-centered and selfish people without a biblical worldview.
Thus, Amnon was consumed with lust for his half-sister Tamar and raped her. David did nothing about this, and Absalom (Tamar’s brother) murdered Amnon as vengeance for the rape.
Absalom was convinced that David’s inaction was immoral and that Absalom now filled with righteous indignation should take the throne, ending his own death.
David was permissive each step of the way, not bringing the rod of God’s standard to bear on his children. Which likely means it was never used as they grew up. They were never challenged by their father as to what is good and what is not.
Scripture says that David never crossed his sons at any time. He never asked them, “Why have you done so?” (1 Kings 1:6).
It is important to train up our children when they are young, and it is important to continue to challenge them as adults. Good children require good parents. We may feel unworthy of being called good parents, but like so many things that matter in life, this is a choice we make.
This choice will not only benefit our society but it will save the souls of our children.